


ring around the rosie...

by Medie



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - Rowling, Highlander, House M.D., Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-26
Updated: 2010-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-08 08:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five places Janet Fraiser woke up after dying</p>
            </blockquote>





	ring around the rosie...

**Author's Note:**

> five things ficlet, crack!yay! Did i mention the multifandom crossovers?

5.

Oxygen rushing into lungs forcing out stale air in a series of violent coughs heralded her return, quite dramatic really. She hated this part, her body restarting functions not meant to be restarted and doing so in the most painful ways possible. Dying was the easy part, resurrection now that was hard. Human beings were not built with a reset function, Immortality was not a existence it handled easily.

Dying the human body was prepared for, returning from the dead was not.

And then there was the process after the fact, begun by determining just where it was that she was.

Cold steel beneath her, darkness all around...

Yep.

She was in the morgue. And her students wondered why she made them practice escape.

"They never see this part coming..."

Now...How did she get out again?

4.

There were worse things to open your eyes to than a beautiful woman's smile. God knew in her career, Janet had seen most of them.

As things went, it was an improvement.

"Where?" She tried to speak but the word wouldn't come as her voice failed her. She frowned and closed her eyes, trying to get her bearings. The last thing she remembered was fire, pain...the planet. Daniel had been with her...oh god. She tried to struggle upright but hands grabbed on and held her down.

"Easy!" The beautiful woman urged breathlessly, smiling. "You're not in the SGC, Dr. Fraiser but you are among friends."

"Aye," another agreed. "You're quite safe, haven't let them kill anyone in my infirmary yet." The Scotsman speaking shot a tolerantly amused look across the bed. "No matter how much some patients deserve it."

"Yes, yes," the other man answered briskly, waving a dismissive hand at him. He looked familiar but Janet couldn't place him and he wasn't about to give her the chance. "What Carson and Elizabeth are trying to say, Dr. Fraiser is welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy. You're in Atlantis, formerly the mythical city of the Ancients, currently Earth's most recent outpost and last bastion against the Wraith threat which we inadvertently created in the first place. Care to help us save two galaxies for the convenient low price of one resurrection from the dead?"

3.

The scent of cinnamon teased her to waking, a smile on her lips and a soft chuckle betrayed the source before Janet opened her eyes to familiar features.

"Welcome back," Elizabeth greeted, putting the small pot of spice aside. "Though," she paused, slanting an amused look her friend's way, "might I suggest you not give the healers and Department's Aurors such fits in the future? The Secretary did not appreciate having to explain to the President why her people had to descend on that little hideaway of yours to rescue on errant - supposedly dead - witch."

Janet grinned at the description of Cheyenne Mountain, Elizabeth never had been fond of such places. "I'll be sure to remember that the next time I feel the need for a near death experience." Not that Elizabeth was particularly aggravated, when the Head Mistress of the Salem Witches' Institute got angry it was a fearsome (and quite unmistakable) occurrence. "I am sorry," she added honestly.

"Nonsense," the other witch dismissed. "It was fun," she leaned in to say conspiratorially, "Kerry and I handled it." She rose from the beside chair and lightly slapped Janet's leg. "The day's yours but I expect you on duty in the infirmary by morning." She smiled, eyes full of mischief. "Doctor Beckett's on loan from Hogwarts but he can't get any work done. That accent's driving the girls mad."

And she could only imagine what mayhem teenage witches were dreaming up to spend time with an 'exotic wizard' from Scotland. "They haven't blown up the school yet though."

"Yet," Elizabeth insisted. "They will and it's always such a trial to rebuild it when they do." Halting at the door, she smiled back at her friend. "Welcome home."

2.

"C'mon now, you can't leave me here by my lonesome now can you?" The playful voice that greeted her return to life held a faint note of desperation that pulled her forward. "Someone as fantastic as me should never be left to his own devices and especially not with devices as lovely as yours lying about."

Fingers moved gently along her neck, making her shiver as they sought out a pulse. The reaction received a wicked little chuckle that was about twenty kinds of inappropriate.

"Now that's flattering, how many guys can say their touch brought a woman back to life?"

Janet opened her eyes to a grinning (and not altogether hideous) man and a rather rundown backdrop. Wherever they were, it was either not the Hilton or dank and dingy was all the rage this year.

"You know, considering you only just appeared out of thin air, your little near death experience gave me quite the scare." He helped her up and slipped an arm around her that was more come on than support. "Beautiful women should never just appear then up and die."

They rounded a corner to reveal still more dingy and dank. Janet suppressed a sigh of disappointment, definitely not the SGC then. At least there, dank and dingy came out of a paint can or one of Dr. Lee's experiments run amuck. "In the future, I'll try to remember that, Mr...."

"Harkness," he supplied, stopping to pull away and hold out a hand. "Captain Jack Harkness to be exact. Before you ask, yes I am single though recently attached to a Time Lord, a bleached blonde with a great bottom, and a charming TARDIS with a nice '60s feel to her. At the moment you and I are trapped on a space station known as Satellite Five, I've no idea where my associates went, no idea how to get off the station but I'm working on both and yes you can come with me when I do." He paused for a breath then frowned. "Did I miss anything?"

Janet hesitated then asked, "Where's the bathroom?"

1.

Oh god...everything that was anything hurt. Things that weren't anything at all hurt. As dramatic awakenings went, this one not that high on the pain free meter.

She was going to kill him. She was absolutely going to kill him if, that was, he didn't get her first. By the feel of things he was off to a bang up start.

"I'd ask if you were feeling better," House all but chirruped as he prodded one foot and scoped out her chart, "but the finely sharpened daggers those pretty brown eyes - which by the way would make Bambi jealous - are throwing my way are answer enough. Remember Janet, if it hurts that's a good thing. Means you're not dead yet."

The tube in her throat made it difficult to answer but Janet found a way. Sign language was always useful.

"Oh that's polite," House commented, unimpressed. "The Air Force teach you that one?"

She scowled at him then pointed at the tube.

"But it's more fun this way," he pointed out, abandoning her chart. "You all silent and flipping me the bird, me all snarky and dashing in my bedside humor..." He rounded the bed and took a good look at her monitors. "Of course, this way I can't drug you and get you to tell me what you're *really* up to over with the boys at NORAD." He slanted a suspicious look her way that might have been playful. She wasn't asking. "Speaking of, that little flu epidemic a while back...you actually thought that one fooled me? Really, Janet...that's worse than the radar line your pretty blonde friend keeps trying to sell me though," he glanced down again, "hot as she is, she can try to sell me on the wonders of Scientology and Tom Cruise as the second coming and I'll listen."

She hit him, he deserved it, and it was totally his fault.

Also Greg House shrieks like a girl.


End file.
